NUCLEAR KNOCKOUTS GO OUT WITH A BANG

Sunday November 11 saw the last game of Harrisburg Area Roller Derby's inaugural season, when their Nuclear Knockouts took on Richmond, Virginia's River City Rollergirls at Olympic Skating Center in Enola, PA. In an action packed bout consisting of three 20 minute periods, The Knockouts pulled off their sixth win in a row beating River City by 156 to 65.

The bout kicked off with Harrisburg's Rainbow's Revenge slamming a 6-0 jam over River City's Shake `n' Baker giving the Knockouts a nice early lead. Following up, Harrisburg's Nash Villain came out HARD onto the scene with an unbelievable 21 point jam. When a River City girl made an unsuccessful attempt to take out Nash, Harrisburg's Dosa Badazz was quick to respond with a powerful block which sent her flying into the audience. Richmond's jammer Paris Kills brought 3 points in for her team. A false start by Richmond's Sue-age Spill set her back and allowed Knockout Mother Trucker to score 8 points to her 3 in the third jam with River City being awarded a penalty for tripping in an attempt to take out Trucker. Harrisburg's Eve Ternal Jamnation followed up with a 5-4 jam over Shake `n' Baker, but River City took her down hard and forced her to call off the jam. H.A.R.D.'s Jane Wrastle entered the scene and put a nice 8-5 jam over Richmond's Jensurgency giving the Knockouts a nice 48 to 15 lead over River City. In the sixth jam Rainbow's Revenge returned and laid a 4-0 jam over River City's Terminal Velocity. Richmond's Raven Darkhold came out strong in the seventh jam achieving lead jammer status, but having scored no points, called off the jam after a heavy takedown by Dosa Badazz, but Nash Villain was able to bring 2 points to the Knockouts. In the following jam, Mother Trucker came out in full force and slammed a beautiful 10-0 jam over Shake `n' Baker. Harrisburg's NastyNiss followed up nicely with a 9-0 jam over Richmond jammer Carebear Scare with Eve Ternal Jamnation laying her out with a nice block. No points were scored in the tenth jam which had Harrisburg's Under Rage against Richmond's Sue-age Spill. Rainbow's Revenge had a beautiful start in the eleventh jam with a lovely cut through the pack to give her lead jammer status, while Richmond's Paris Kills was finally able to put Richmond back on the scoreboard after five consecutive 0 point jams from the River City gals with each jammer scoring 3 points. In the twelfth jam, Richmond's Jensurgency came in strong putting a nice 4-0 jam over Harrisburg's Mother Trucker. After some hard jamming from Jensurgency, Harrisburg blocker Cruel Britannia stepped in and did an excellent job of holding her back from getting a grand slam which she almost had. Sooo close. Thus ending the first period with the Knockouts leading 76-22.

The second period opened up with Mother Trucker coming in strong and getting revenge for the previous jam dealing a 13-0 jam over Jensurgency. Take that! Things began getting ugly in the second jam when Harrisburg's Nash Villain took on Paris Kills. Paris suffered two hard takedowns by the Knockouts with the second one sending her rolling across the track. While in the pack, Harrisburg's NastyNiss slammed Richmond blocker Mortician Murphy down to the floor. Somehow, after all that, Paris ended up with a penalty leaving River City to start the next jam short a jammer. The next jam started out with Rainbow's Revenge jamming alone, but she was unable to score any points when she was accidentally tangled by a River City blocker's arm and she fell to the ground. Again, a relentless Dosa Badazz was quickly on the scene to send the offending blocker hard to the floor. In the meantime, Paris Kills re- entered the game and slipped by the Knockouts quickly bringing 4 points to River City. The fourth jam had Jensurgency take a 3-2 jam over Jane Wrastle who, in a decision to cut through the pack, ended up going down in a tangle with Ram Jam Betty. In the following jam, Eve Ternal Jamnation brought the Knockouts up over 100 points with a 5-3 jam over Nockout Nancy. Girls were going down left and right in the pack as Under Rage was letting it out with two nice takedowns, and H-burg's Vixxen Vindiction laid a good one on Nockout Nancy as well. The sixth jam saw the debut of Harrisburg jammer Queen Of Pain as she went up against Jensurgency. Jensurgency achieved lead jammer, but no points were scored by either jammer, although a nice block and pass was made by Queen. No points were scored in the following jam, either, when in a high speed action packed competition, Mother Trucker went up against Raven Darkhold. In the pack, girls were flying everywhere. Unfortunately, in all the mayhem, Harrisburg's Jane Wrastle suffered an injury in a gruesome collision of twisted bodies and she would not return to the game. In the next jam, Rainbow's Revenge scored 4-3 over Shake `n' Baker with Baker the lead jammer. Nash Villain scored 3-0 over Nockout Nancy in the ninth jam even after an attempted trip by Carebear Scare, which landed her in the penalty cage. Jam 10 saw Richmond's Raven Darkhold come out in a blazing fury and slam a 3-0 jam over Under Rage. Rage was taken down hard early in the jam, although it was Harrisburg's Renegade Raven who was able to bring fellow namesake Darkhold to the floor to call off the jam. River City was playing tough in the eleventh jam where Eve Ternal Jamnation jammed against Sue-age Spill. This jam was not easy on Eve. She first suffered a hard takedown by M.C. Slammer, and later a nasty double-takedown by Shake `n' Baker. To top it all off, she ended up being awarded a penalty. The following jam started out with the Knockouts skating short a jammer and Jensurgency becoming lead jammer. The Knockouts were successful at keeping her from scoring, though. Eve Ternal Jamnation re-entered the game like a bolt of lightning burning up the track, while Rainbow's Revenge went down blocking Jensurgency. Ultimately, no points were scored by either jammer. The period ended with another scoreless jam between Nash Villain and Ram Jam Betty, with the score at 111 to 43 in Harrisburg's favor.

The third period kicked off with Nash Villain scoring 1- 0 over Jensurgency. Things started heating up when Mother Trucker followed up with a 9-4 jam over Paris Kills with nasty pileups happening in the pack. Sue-age Spill laid a 4-0 jam over Eve Ternal Jamnation in the third jam where NastyNiss received a penalty when she chased Sue-age down and blocked her over twenty feet from the pack. By the fourth jam, things were getting ROUGH with the penalty cage overflowing with skaters…and more coming. Nash Villain put a 5- 0 jam over Jensurgence, before Nash herself was awarded a penalty. With some confusion before the fifth jam, it finally kicked off with the Knockouts skating without a jammer. Paris Kills hit the track jamming solo for River City and was soon taken down by the H.A.R.D. blockers in a pirouette of pain. Soon after, Eve Ternal Jamnation laid her out again with a bone-crushing block which knocked the wind out of her. For as small as she is, Paris proved herself to be a strong rollergirl as one would have to be pretty tough to rejoin the game after that hit. Nash Villain re-entered the game in full force and ended up scoring 2-0 over Paris. NastyNiss followed up with a nice 9-3 jam over Jensurgency and a beautiful pass to boot. In the next jam Raven Darkhold again unleashed her prowess with a picture perfect 4-1 jam over Queen Of Pain. The eighth jam proved to be rough on Richmond's Shake `n' Baker as the relentless H.A.R.D. blockers delivered much abuse. A heavy slam by NastyNiss sent her to the ground and kept her from scoring as Mother Trucker went on to rack up 9 points for Harrisburg. After a false start by Nockout Nancy, the River City girls returned the abuse to Knockout Eve Ternal Jamnation when she was taken down hard by Jensurgency, the battle continued in the pack, Nockout Nancy got a penalty and Eve was reintroduced to the floor by the River City blockers and she called off the jam. Amazingly, both jammers put 4 points on the board. In the tenth jam, with River City skating short a jammer, Harrisburg newcomer Queen Of Pain achieved lead jammer and put up 3 points for the Knockouts. She called off the jam after a hard takedown by M.C. Slammer. The final jam of the bout had Richmond's Sue-age Spill pull a 3-2 jam over Under Rage to bring the final score to 156 to 65 with Harrisburg winning the bout and bringing the season to a close for the Knockouts. The Nuclear Knockouts completed their first season 7 and 2.

The highest scoring jammer for the Knockouts was Nash Villain with 21 points. For River City it was Jensurgency with 5 points. The jammer with the most points for the Knockouts was Mother Trucker with 49 and for River City it was a tie for 15 between Paris Kills and Jensurgency. The Nuclear Knockouts averaged 4.3 points per jam throughout the game, and River City averaged 1.9 points per jam. In addition to those mentioned, blocking for the Knockouts was Cybil Disobedience and Anida Blade, and for the River City Rollergirls was A.D. Sixer, Sway and Da Weezi Da Squeezer. And we can't forget alternate Holden Grudges who kept the audience charged with her big transformers mask!

Matt De Capitator